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My older brother passed last month. I've spent the entirety of my life with that child then boy then man in my life. He never married and lived alone in the county so I made him text me every day to let me know he's OK. That day I'd been busy all day and hadn't realized he'd not texted me until I got a call that evening from a mutual friend saying he wasn't answering his phone and hadn't been on Facebook all day. I drove up to his place and found him. We're all aware of the one great guarantee in life, that none of us are going to make it out alive but still, we're never really prepared.
As his sole heir, putting his affairs in order falls on me. Wow, what a learning experience! Today's journey is to take his vehicle titles to the county, along with his death certificate and Small Estate Affidavit, to get the titles put in my name. His 67 Cutlass is going to my son. I've already sold his daily driver GMC Sonoma with over 300K on the clock. I was shocked when I ran his 2001 Silverado LS with 81K on the clock through NADA to get a value. I know the pandemic caused vehicle prices to grow but holy cow! It's currently in the shop getting the serpentine belt & idler pulley replaced plus a new Y pipe & cats on the exhaust. Then it's off to the detailer to get her scrubbed & shiny. I'm still undecided on it's future. Peggy has mentioned she might like to have it. I can't really picture her with a PU as a daily driver but who am I to judge. 😀 If she decides she wants it I guess that will happen. If not, I guess I need to find it a new home.
If I can pass on any advice, it's this. Put your affairs in order BEFORE you pass. Don't put that burden on your loved ones. Write a Last Will & Testament. Write down contact information for your insurance polices and pensions. Put 'Transfer On Death' notifications on vehicle titles and Pay On Death notations on bank accounts and IRAs. Your loved ones will have enough on their plates when that time comes.
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I'm very sorry for your loss, Tiny . Thanks for the wonderful advice. Enjoy life, we only have one. Do what makes you happy, but don't forget about your loved ones and them dealing with your " treasures ". Best of luck to you, sir .
Tiny:
Sorry for your loss.
Lee
Hi Tiny
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, and want to extend my condolences.
It is not the thought of my own passing that keeps me awake at night, it's the thought of losing those around me before I go.
Again, deepest condolences.
Ole
Ole S Olson
Saskatoon, Sask, Canada
1139 old site posts
I also offer my condolences, Tiny. I hope your brother found the peace that we all crave and so richly deserve.
I had a similar experience when my sister passed away suddenly (without a will or trust) and my parents were too frail to handle the arrangements. I took care of everything.
One silver lining in my story is that the event prompted a family conversation with my remaining sister and my parents. My folks had a will and trust, but it was very outdated and my sister and I did not have a complete idea about what my folks' estate consisted of. We had a family meeting where I asked my parents what their wishes were for their estate and also what their definition of 'quality of life' was so my sister and I had some guidance should it become necessary to make a decision like when or if to pull the plug on life-preserving machinery.
I stressed to my parents that we were only looking for guidance and not trying to steer them in any particular direction. After their wishes were known, we had a new will and trust drawn up to reflect their wishes. The new will and trust reflected some major changes, like not mentioning my brother and sister who had passed, and also now included a percentage of their estate for the grandkids.
Ten years after that conversation, my folks passed away and although handling their affairs was still a lot of work, it went smoothly and I'm very thankful for that.
My wife and I have since had this conversation with our grown children. We also updated our will and trust to reflect our assets and be inline with our current wishes.
I am also slowly thinning out my mechanical 'stash' of treasure that has been accumulating for over 50 years. I doubt that I'll get rid of it all, but at least the pile will be smaller.
Take care and virtual hugs, Dean
Dean "Rustoholic" Meltz
San Leandro, CA
3511 posts on vccachat.org
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Tiny, We add our condolences for the loss of your brother. We have updated our trust a couple of times but it is due to be reviewed and updated with the death of our daughter. Life is complicated so anything that can be done to make it less so can save others on our passing.
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Participant on Chatter since 11/22/2001
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Tiny, My condolences as well, having experienced loss from both the grieving and responsibility perspective, I can relate to your feelings and sage recommendations, thank you for sharing them. In addition to all of the points you and others have made about assuring your affairs are in order, my estate attorney asked me to assemble all of the legal documents, titles, policies, etc into one readily available binder. It’s the “if I become incapacitated or die” book that gets reviewed with loved ones in advance, especially for people who live alone. For some people these are uncomfortable discussions but truly necessary. Again, thank you for a very important discussion. Mike
I'm sorry for the loss of your brother Tiny. I have lost a brother and a sister. I know that I need to up date my will and family trust but our attorney died at the age of 47 and the one we went to after him retired after a major heart attack. My wife and I know how important it is but we have just not had time to really look for one. Again I am very sorry for your loss!
Southwest Iowa
sorry for your loss tiny. and really appreciate all you do for this chat site.Mike Mccagh
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